Wednesday, December 22, 2010

It's been a busy year

I don't get to the computer much, they're all off when the humans go to sleep and I can't figure out how to turn them on, but TheLady left hers on tonight while she was cooking. Rice I think. Rice is kinda yucky, I'm just sayin'.

Anydog, there's a lot to go over before she comes back.

I got in trouble last spring, bad trouble. See, there were these humans in the yard with ladders and paint cans and things, really nice humans, but one of them opened the gate and the beagle being well, the beagle, took off. I of course followed, because it's fun, but I didn't go far, just to the park behind the house.

Little human puppies play there, running and screaming and generally acting like puppies, and, well, I tried to play with them, only I scared them, and they ran - and, oh my dog, anything that runs is so, so fun to chase! And I caught one, knocked him over and tried to wrestle - fun fun!! All growly and rough like with the beagle - but he got hurt, it was an accident!

I just wanted to play and I didn't know that human puppies were so fragile, I was much nicer to him than the beagle! But before I knew it TheLady was crying and upset because she'd made a mistake, thinking that my shot was due in a couple of months, but it was the beagle's that was almost due while mine had expired. I don't know how she got confused - me and the beagle are nothing alike - but she did. And I was so SORRY, I didn't mean to hurt and scare the human puppy! I love them, they're so awesome and fun.

But, sorry or not, a man in a red truck came and took me away. And it was horrible! I was in a small pen with bars and a concrete floor, right there by other concrete and bars pens. Dog jail was so scary and loud and smelly! TheLady came every day to take me for a walk and she brought me treats and toys and a blanket - which got covered in pee because the dog in the next cell wasn't housebroke like me - and she took me for walks and I licked everyone I could because I'm a good dog, not a bad dog that needs to be in jail!!

And I was there forever! Fore. Ever. Everyone said I was super sweet and they knew that it was just an accident what had happened, but I still had to be in dog jail for a really long time. Forever. And the beagle only came to visit once. Once. Little bastard.

When I finally got to go home, the beagle was all laughing at me and being rotten. So I showed him how tough I got from being in jail. The next day, TheLady brought another dog home, a crazy spastic puppy thing that wouldn't be quiet or hold still or leave the beagle and me alone or even remember to pee outside. He really bugged me, always jumping around and barking and going over the fence - while the beagle kept trying to escape by going under or having me move the boards so he could go through.

But I didn't want to escape, because last time I did, the human puppy got hurt and I went to jail. Me! So I stayed in the yard. Always. And one day, both the beagle and the spastic puppy got loose and run off - me, I went to the porch and barked so my humans would let me right in - and they never came back.


Even though they always had come back before, even when I was a super good dog and stayed home and told them they'd get in trouble for escaping. But there's no talking to a beagle.

I wonder sometimes if they jumped on some human puppy and got taken to dog jail like I did, but nobody knows. My humans looked for them, even mentioned several times that they were 'tagged' - although I don't know what tagging has to do with anything. Tag's a game, everyone knows that. Still, they never came home. They just disappeared.

But, with the beagle and spastic puppy gone, I'm in the house almost all of the time, unless the humans have to leave in their car and be gone for what seems like forever.

I like being a house dog, but I'm always super excited when they come home!

The teeny cat - the one everyone always said was super cute - had babies! Little wriggly baby kitten things and they were pretty cute, if ornery. They liked to climb on me and jump on things. But they're all gone now, as is the number five cat, he, like the beagle and spastic puppy, just disappeared one day. I guess that happens.

The other cats are fine and mostly like me and are happy to have me around. One even cuddles with me sometimes. And every night I sleep by the human's bed - or on my very own bed downstairs - and I get to have my food dish filled whenever it's empty, and there's always water since there's no beagle to pee at night if he drinks. I get lots and lots of treats (every single time I come in the house! How cool is that?), and I get to take car rides - they're such FUN! - and go for walks and I get to get the mail every day and, really, it's all pretty good.

I get lonely sometimes - the beagle was good for wrestling with, if nothing else - but all in all, I'm a happy dog!