Shepherds are mouthy

Yeah, yeah, I know it's been a long time since I've had access to a keyboard, but it's not like I had a lot of choice here. The beagle, well, he likes to dig. And he kept trying to escape (which like I said before is just kinda silly if he's gonna come right back, I mean, really, what's the point?) and he dug up Fort Stewie. A LOT. Huge holes all over the place, and he ate a tree. Yes, a TREE! Oh, sure, it was a little tree, but a tree none the less. And that love seat I enjoyed so much? He ate that too. Well, I helped, a little, but only because he made me.

And, anyway, we've spent a LOT of time outside. And our yard's smaller now (and there are bricks and stones all the way around so the beagle can't dig out), but our dog house, get this, it has a DECK on it. So we sit up there and we can see like EVERYTHING and bark at any dog who walks by and it really is pretty cool. I really like the deck. Sometimes I'll stand up there and bark at Stewie as he runs circles around the dog house, and sometimes he'll sit up there and bahwoooo at me as I run around, but mostly we sit up there together wrestling and barking at the other dogs.

And I've gotten big. Really really big. TheLady tells everyone I weigh about eighty five pounds, and I think that's quite a lot. TheBeardedOne didn't want me to get a neutered - not sure what that is, but Stewie says he got one and it sucks, and he's small - so maybe me not getting one helped me get bigger? I dunno for sure. But I'm almost the biggest dog in the area, other than maybe that damn German Shepherd down the alley and across the street. And every time we go for a walk - walks RULE! - we have to go a different direction because that damn Shepherd calls me names like 'bitty black baby' and 'Gozer the Chickenshit Coward' and it just really ticks me off. Ya know? I think we ought to settle it - I can surely kick his mangy Shepherd ass - but TheBeardedOne always walks me now, never TheLady, and he never lets me fight! It's so unfair! I mean, jeesh! Just because I dragged her into a fence a couple of times when some mangy mutt called me a name doesn't mean I shouldn't be allowed to defend myself, does it?

Mutter. Mutter. Damn mouthy Shepherds.

So that's mostly what I've been doing. Playing with the beagle, sitting on my deck, and taking walks, none of which let me explain the meaning of 'Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor' to that Shepherd.

I can take him.

Bored

Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored.

Nothing fun to chew, just plain old boring rawhides. It's too cold to play outside and we get in trouble for chasing cats.

Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored.

So. Like. Today.

The Lady and Bearded One went out for a walk without US! Stewie and I were stuck out back and the humans up and walked out the front! Can you believe that crap? Don't they know we like going for walks?

Sure, it was supposedly just to the post office a couple of blocks away, but that's not the point. How else are Stewie and I supposed to check in with the other dogs if we never get out of the yard? Maybe he's right, maybe we should try to escape, but, crap, he's escaped several times and always comes back. If we're gonna come back maybe we should just stay?

I'm not very confrontational, I guess. I like to cuddle and lick things and be everyone's buddy. The beagle's just a bad influence. Everyone says so.

But, get this, the humans came back with ANOTHER DOG. Some little fluffy white bit of nothing who kept talking smack. To ME! One deep breath and I'd have inhaled him.

The Lady said he was lost and after a while she left with him and came back alone, so I guess it's okay, but, dang. I didn't get to go for that walk either!

I really want to go for a walk.